How does it feel, failing again and again, despite of your best efforts! I just said best efforts. If someone is putting his best efforts, then why he is failing consistently.
If someone is trying best, and still fails, then that means, that is not his best.
After 4 failures in SSBs, and each one for different reasons, I was terrified from inside. I controlled my emotions, I never showed that I am terrified, but I was. I was losing confidence. I was scared for the first time in my life. My parents acted that they were supporting my decision of still trying for armed forces, but even they had few doubts on me. With each failure they were losing confidence in me.
I had applied for Short Service Commissioning in Technical Branch for Indian Navy. This entry is only for engineers, either B.Tech/B.E or M.E/M.Tech. I figured out my name on their website, though I didn’t received the call letter, but we were allowed to carry the print out.
After two straight screened out experiences, I was not ready to face third rejection. I knew I had to perform best in both, reasoning and picture perception discussion test. It’s not easy to change your personality, but I had so much of determination to achieve my dreams.
I practiced reasoning from a CAT guide, and I improved my narration in English. Once again I was going to Bhopal
FIRST DAY!!
As usual on the first day of any army or navy SSB, filling up of the forms, and process of allotting chest number was carried out. 90 candidates reported for SSB interview of Indian Navy. All were engineers, some from awesome colleges like IITs or BITS. I was not nervous, but I knew that if I am again rejected from here, I am totally going to lose faith of my parents in my ability. I am a very flamboyant boy, but I controlled my emotions, I was serious, and was behaving like a goody goody boy with everyone. My chest number was one. I was the youngest of all. I was 20 years 8 months. And average age of all candidates was 23.
2nd DAY!!
Morning I woke up at 0400Hrs shaved, took bath, and was ready by 0530Hrs. We packed our luggage, and kept in luggage room. I was much focused, and was totally pumped up; controlled emotions were showing my determination level.
Test started at 0630Hrs. First test was reasoning test of verbal and non-verbal questions. They gave us question paper, which I already faced in my first SSB. I was knew how to solve it. I felt confident, as on the same question paper I was once screened in.
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| Chest number 1, Rahul Singh Bharadwaj |
There were two papers, 40 questions each, and time allotted was 17 minutes. I solved first paper in 15 minutes, and I solved 2nd paper, with in no time of 12 minutes.
I was sure now that I am going to get screened in.
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| Chest number 1, Rahul Singh Bharadwaj |
Next was picture perception and discussion test. As usual a picture was shown on screen. We need to observe picture for 30 secs and we need to write story on that picture in 4 minutes. I wrote story within 3mins and got time to revise it.
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| Chest number 1 and Chest number 4 |
In discussion, I narrated very well, and my English was very fluent. I didn’t speak in group discussion or you can say that I didn’t get chance to speak in group discussion. I was little nervous now, as I didn’t get chance to speak in discussion.
We collected our traveling allowance. I was a repeater but I still got my traveling allowance because I was coming for the particular course for the first time. In past I always got Traveling allowance because all the entries were different.
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| from left to right.. Chest number 5, Chest number 1, Chest number 3, Chest number 13 |
After lunch we went to 33SSB board, and waited for announcement of result. My chest number was one, so I was the first one to know that whether I am rejected or selected. I kept my finger crossed.
Result was announced, and officer who was announcing the result said, the chest number one is going to wear his new chest number, which is going to be chest number one. I was screened in. I was happy excited. For the first time I was screened in for a naval SSB interview. I deserved to be tested in 2nd phase.
Only 24 candidates out of 90 were screened in. We filled our new personal information questionnaire. In evening I went for walk, and informed my dad. Others were tired and were sleeping. I enjoyed Bhopal
In evening I interacted with my group mates. There were three groups made. First group was from chest number 1 to chest number 10. We all ten were repeaters. 2nd and third group were of 7 candidates.
3rd DAY!!
On 3rd day in morning we had psychological testing and for few interviews will be there. I was informed that before interview we will get time to change, so I went in a sweat T-shirt, jeans and sports shoes. I wanted to feel comfortable in psychological testing so that I can give my best. Psychological test is all about stress, so I thought it will be good idea to stay comfortable. I wrote same stories which I did in my fist SSB. I did all 60 words in WAT, I did 50 SRT, and completed my self description in time.
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| Chest number 1 and chest number 3 |
After completing test, we all were informed that chest number one and two, chest number 11 and 12 are going to have their interviews. I and chest number two were in casual dress. We asked them to give us fifteen minutes to change our dresses, but they didn’t give it. I knew this is going to be biggest blunder.
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| Chest number 1 |
My interviewer was board president of 33SSB. He called me soon, and when I enter the room, he was looking at me from bottom to up. He must be shocked that I came in casuals, and he must have thought that I am showing disrespect to him, or I am not interested in Navy.
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| Chest number 1: Rahul Singh Bharadwaj |
He asked me rapid fire, which was expected. After it, he only asked me about general knowledge questions, questions about navy and air force, DRDO and ISRO. I was not able to answer all general knowledge questions, I was illiterate about navy, I answered all questions of Air Force, and I did not know much about DRDO and ISRO. My interview lasted for 28 minutes. I felt my interviewer was not much impressed with my performance.
I knew that I lost my interview.
I was disappointed but I decided that I will give my best in group task. I don’t lose hope so easily.
In evening I went out with two of my group mate to Bhopal Lake
DAY 4!!!
From today our group task testing was about to start. We wore white T-Shirt and white shorts. We went to GTO grounds. At 0730hrs our group discussion started. For the first time I was competing in a group discussion with repeaters in group task testing.
Our group was very aggressive in group discussion. No one was ready to give chance to others. In first group discussion I was able to speak for two times, and in 2nd group discussion I spoke for one time. It was a chaos. Few members in our group were interrupting when our group testing officer was speaking. It was clear that we are making our testing officer very very angry.
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| Chest number 1 and chest number 5 |
In military planning, group went out of control, everyone was going aggressive and few were abusive too. I didn’t get a single chance to speak. Later I stopped trying to speak, and I started this dog fight.
On progressive group task field, GTO didn’t observe us for starting 3 obstacles. He started noticing us when we were on 4th obstacle. In half group task I performed little well. Then there was snake race, which I really enjoyed.
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| Chest number 5 and Chest number 1 |
At the end of the day there was lecturate. I spoke good and confidently in lecturate. And our testing ended by 1030Hrs. It was clear that after so much chaos, we have pissed off our testing officer.
In evening, few candidates of my group asked to once again go to lake, as they didn’t enjoyed it yesterday. We once again went there, and did the same thing which we did yesterday. In addition to it, we went to a pub, and we got drunk. We drank whisky. Whisky was quite strong, I didn’t lose it, but few of my friends, totally lost it, and started speaking something else.
We decided, that we need to control our emotions, and selection center so that no one knows that we were drunk. We reached selection center and we went in rooms, and slept off.
DAY 5!!!
Again we reported early in morning. Today in group task first we did individual obstacle test. There were many different obstacles compared to Air Force. I did 6 out of 10 in 3 minutes.
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| Chest number 5 and Chest number 1 |
After then we had command task. In command task I was called first. Testing officer talked for few minutes with me. Then he explained me my command task, and asked that which chest numbers I want as my helpers. I called chest number two and five, because they both performed really well.
My command task was very simple compared to my ability. I completed my command task within 3 minutes. Depending upon the degree of toughness of command task, I knew that GTO accessed me wrong. I was good than his expectations.
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| Chest number 1 and Chest number 2 |
I was called by chest number two, his task was difficult than mine, and I felt he had good chance of getting selected, but he didn’t acted as a leader, he lost his confidence in between.
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| Chest number 1 and Chest number 13 |
After completing our command tasks, we had final group task, where as a group we performed well compared with progressive group test.
Finally our testing ended, and tomorrow, our fate was going to get decided.
That day, we stayed at selection center, and relaxed ourselves.
Day 6: Judgment Day!!
It was conference day, and we all were nervous. Our conference started at 8.30, I was the first one to enter the conference hall. I went in formals, and my interviewer’s expression showed me that he was little shocked, after seeing me in a good formal dress. He asked me how I have performed this time compared with the last time, how was my stay and any suggestions. My conference was about three minutes.
Conference for our batch was finished by 1100hrs. After eating lunch, we went to 33SSB campus for results. An officer came, and announced the result.
Only two were selected out of 24 candidates, in whom 14 were fresher and 10 were repeaters.
Two were from the first group; those two were from my group. Chest number 5 and chest number 6 got selected. None of the fresher was selected.
I was disappointed, stunned. But I knew that I made blunder in interview and was not at my best in group task.
I was happy that I knew my mistakes. I was going back as a failure but satisfied that I have still got room to improve my self.
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