Introspection helps to Identify reasons for failure!!!

5 attempts, 5 rejections. Not easy to digest so many failures. But victory belongs to the most preserving. I kept my patience, I was just 20 years and 9 months, and within few months I attempted 5 SSB interviews. People take a year or two, to appear in so many interviews because, a candidate need to travel long distances, and spent their 5 days for testing. I had seen many people, losing their patience, many said after the first attempt itself that they are not going to give a try again. May be that’s why they didn’t deserve to get selected.

Mysore Railway Station

 I decided that I am not going to lose my patience so early. I have more 6 years to give a try. But somewhere inside I was breaking up, I was not as strong as I was showing. But Rahul Singh Bharadwaj never quits.

I had appeared for engineering knowledge test of Indian Air Force for aeronautical engineering course, AEC, and I cleared it once again. I got my SSB date 26^th July.

I knew this is the chance in which I need to nail it completely. I decided to give this attempt thinking that, I am not going to get a chance after this. I was focused; I rectified mistakes which I made last time. I made a note book, in which I wrote all the questions, which were asked to me in my previous interviews, and I wrote answers which I was going to give in interview. I rehearsed my answers; it really helped me to increase my confidence level. I was also working on my English fluency, which was getting better day by day. I also brushed up my stories, and read few current affairs topic for group task, and for interview.

My SSB interview center was Mysore. Air Force is my dream and my first SSB center was Mysore, so it was special for me, coming once again here.

DAY-1!!!!!

I reported in morning at 0700 Hrs, and at selection center our documents were checked. After checking documents, the same process, which I had repeated so many times in past for screening was started. I got the same paper in reasoning which I got in my first SSB and in the previous SSB, I knew all the answers. I knew how to solve the questions, the thing was to solve as fast as possible, so that I might get time to check it.

There were two question paper, for each question paper 17 minutes were given, I completed first paper in 10 minutes and 2^nd one in 8 minutes. All the answers were correct. I knew I had scored hundred percent, and now I am not going to get rejected in screening at least, but still I wanted to give my best in picture perception and discussion test.

There were 160 candidates, and for all of them there was a huge hall, in which they made us to sit, and a picture was shown on screen. Picture was very hazy and it was looking like boys playing in ground or running together. I wrote story of athlete that with his efforts along with his friends he went on to win gold medal at national level. Same thing I narrated in discussion but with confidence, smile on my face, and emotions in my narration to attract attention of everyone. Most of the candidates in my group were not as good as I was.

After lunch our result of screening was announced, from my group I and one another friend of mine Rohit Kumar Singh got screened in. First stage was successfully chased. Now the challenge is to clear the 2^nd phase.

In evening we had our psychology test, as usual we were tired, but I was trying to keep my cool. I wrote stories; I did 60 WAT, 50 SRTs, and completed my self description in time.

Our test got finished by 2200Hrs in night. We ate our dinner, and went to our room. We did not have time to interact with our group mates. My interview was on the third day, and fourth day we were free.

DAY 2!!!

Best thing about air force SSB is that, proceedings starts at 0730Hrs in morning unlike army where we had to report at 0530Hrs in morning. Today we had our group task testing. I was focusing. I don’t know who is capable in my group as I didn’t interacted with anyone, nor they did. We all were strangers.

Our group testing officer was Wing Commander Rahul. He had a very dynamic personality, he was a fantastic orator. I felt that in his young age, lot of girls must be mad about him. He asked us to tell our name to group, our hobbies, from which place I am coming and what I am presently doing, plus favorite actress. I told my name, place, favorite actress, but intentionally I hided that what I am doing presently in Hyderabad. Group testing officer don’t have personal information questionnaire with him, so any time during test he asks your detail, and if anyone will notice, he will keep writing our detail on his pad. He uses this detail to interact with you before command task. I knew I am fantastic in outdoor task, and during interaction with him, I thought to surprise him, as I was young, so he was not expecting that I must be working.

After introduction, our group discussion round started. I knew how it going to be, in a group of repeater, I knew I had to fight for my chance to express my opinion. I was ready. Group discussion was totally heated up. But I got my chances, sometimes, by trying hard, and sometimes, by agreeing with other candidate, and pretending that I am supporting him so that he will give his chance to me. And my tactics successfully worked. Same thing in military planning. But in the end I was not happy with overall performance in indoor task.

In outdoor task, I knew I had to be a leader, I am natural leader, and it’s not a big challenge for me, to use my leadership skills. As progressive task began, I took initiative, no one had ideas, but this time I had many ideas, I was helping my all group mates. I was back bone of my group, I emerged as natural leader of the group, I was enjoying my outdoor task, I was relaxed, and I was natural. Our group testing officer did not help us any time, we completed whole progressive group task within time.

In half group task, our group of nine was divided into 4 and 5, 5 members were in my group. It was a disadvantage because, as many people, that much big argument will happen. But my group mates accepted me as their leader, they did not argued with me, and they followed my ideas, I was now a leader and they were my followers, I was thoroughly enjoying the moment, as it was one of the fantastic performance ever made by me in group testing. After group testing there was lecturete, in which I got topic of supper power, I spoke well I had knowledge about it, but the best part was when my group members got chance to speak, in their lecturete they agreed to my points, which gave me bonus points.

That day I was very happy and content but how one can know that he is going great guns in group task. One can only know, by command task. Higher the difficulties level of command task, higher the chances to get recommended by group testing officer.

I had to wait till yesterday to know, that how well I had performed.

DAY 3!!!

Today, was my big day, because yesterday I had performed my best in group task, and I was looking forward to command task, plus today I had my interview in evening.

In morning our testing started by command task. There was a task of bomb, and one of my group mate said, a candidate who has chances of getting selected will get that task, that was the toughest task. I hoped that I should get that command task.

Initially group testing officer called in random number of command task. Till the break, half of the members were finished with their command task. No one till that time called me as their helper. I was nervous because at least two of members of the group should call, because it will boost up your marks.

After break I was the first one who was called for command task. My group testing officer asked me many questions for 20 minutes. It was like a kind of interview, I told him that I am working in India infoline private limited as branch manager, and he was shocked, in a surprising, way, I had saved my personal information for this moment. After 20 minutes of long interview he showed me, my command task, and as per me expectation it was that toughest task, my selection from group testing officer side was almost sure. I called chest number 66 and chest number 69, as my helper, as I felt they were performing good, and they too had chance of getting selected. I completed my command task in starting five minutes, no task is difficult for me, as I am a analytical thinker, and can come up with solutions much faster than normal human. But my group testing officer asked me to solve in different idea, and I completed my group task by using five different ideas.

After my command task, three of my group members continuously called me as their helper, which ensured that I am going to score high in group task.

After that we had our individual task, I did 6 obstacles, in 3 minutes, and I was not scared of any of the obstacles, I never show my fear in body language.

The last test of the day was final group task. So far I did, awesomely well, and was heading in final group task with lot of confidence. I along with my group mates finished task within allotted time, and once again I played major role in group task. I was on high risk point, I was ensuring safety of my group mates, and leaded them as a natural leader. All accepted my ideas. Our group testing officer was not writing anything, and was not paying attention, which indicates that group testing officer had made up his mind, to recommend candidates depending on previous performance.

After group task was over, I rushed to my room, as my interview was at 1500Hrs, I prepared my interview dress, and I took bath, and got ready by time. I reported at waiting hall of interview, with few other candidates. I waited till 1700 Hrs, and finally after two hours of wait I got my interview call, they had asked us to bring all our educational certificates and extracurricular certificates. One of the helper took my certificate folder to interviewer. After 15 minutes, my interviewer called me. When I entered in room I saw my certificate folder, and all my certificates were out of folder, and were totally messed up, and were not in sequence which showed, that interviewer saw my all certificates. They actually asked for certificates to identify that candidate has mentioned true and valid information about extracurricular activities, responsibility, hobbies, and educational achievements in personal information questioner form. I had all the proofs in form of certificates with me for the information which I mentioned in PIQ form. Now I was confident, my interviewer asked me rapid fire question and for the first time I didn’t missed a single question and answered all of them. Then he asked me about me job profile, about my hobbies, extracurricular activities, hobbies, among my parents, with whom I am closest. I answered everything with confidence, and then he started asking me general knowledge questions, about recession, telagana issue. I had prepared all of them and confidently answered all of them. My interviewer’s expression showed that, he was very much convinced with me. Before leaving the room he said one thing, which every candidate dreams to hear, he said ‘best of luck for your selections, I hope you get selected’.

Now I was clear that at least I am cleared from group task officer and interviewer side, and if I am going to get rejected, it’s only going to be psychology. I told the same thing on phone to my father, but even I knew that my stories are above average, and performance is good in psychology as well.

DAY 4!!!!

Today, it was my off day, with few other group mates, in morning we played, basketball and volleyball, then table tennis, we were allowed to out in city after 1500Hrs, after lunch we went out and did go-kart racing, played snooker, ate burger, and enjoyed allot, came back to campus at 2030 Hrs.

That night I was not able to sleep, as the next day was conference, I never ever performed so well in group task and interview, and I was very nervous about my conference.

DAY 5!!!!

In morning I woke up late, at ten, packed my bags, got ready by 1200Hrs, kept my luggage in luggage room, ate lunch and went to testing hall, where we were asked to sit. My chest number was 63. So I had to wait till evening for my conference. Conference started at 1330Hrs. I was nervous, I was getting goose bumps. It was a big day for me. My friends Rahmat Ali was with me, we both were in NCC air wing, he made me calm. When my chance came for conference, I kept my watch in pocket to see how long they going to discuss on me. The discussed for five minutes, and then called me inside the conference room, where 25 to 30 air force officers were sitting. They asked me which places I visited, how my stay was, and how many times before I came to Mysore.

After my conference, I was waiting for the result. I was very nervous. Our duty selection officer Wing Commander Madan came, and announced the result, he said only four candidates are selected, he started calling the chest number, three were freshers and one was repeater. And the one repeater was chest number 66.

As I came to know that I am not selected, I said one thing to Rahmat, ‘I have failed in psychology, I have some problem in psychology’.

Now I knew where I was lacking, but I didn’t know what to change.

I wanted to cry but controlled my tears. I reached Mysore railway station, my train was in morning. I searched for an empty corner; I sat there, and cried all night. Air force was my passion, air force was my dream. I had lost the battle.

In this SSB I made mistake in psychology test, but I didn’t know what to change. Now the real battle starts from here.

If you are failing in psychology, always remember rejection is for sure. Psychology is most important thing, if you clear psychology than it doesn’t ensure that you will get selected, as its going to depend on your performance in other two tests. But if you fail in it, trust me YOU ARE REJECTED!