I have not yet begun to fight!

My new year started on a disappointing note. Now it was clear that I can't be a pilot in Indian Air Force. But may be I haven't yet begun to fight!

I was happy about the fact that I was rejected due to PABT Test, and I was not rejected by the SSB Interview. Failing in PABT doesn't mean that you don't have officer like qualities, it only means that you don't have attitude to be an pilot in Indian Air Force. I accepted the bitter truth, and it was time to move on. 

I appeared for combined defence services exam CDSE II in September 2009. I qualified that exam, and got a SSB call for Indian Navy. I was called to 33SSB Bhopal and my reporting date was 23rd march 2010. Now this was call for 3rd battle of my life. It was important to me because CDSE is a dream course. I started my preparation. I knew the mistakes which I made last time. This time I started preparing for interview. Interview was one of those point which I was lacking. I didn't concentrate on screening part, as I was sure that I am the best. I made plans for interview. This time I was ready for any unexpected question from the interviewer. I was confident. I practiced thematic appreciation test, word association test and situation reaction test in an intensive manner. I was not ready to quit. I was not ready to taste another defeat. 

I made my reservations for Bhopal. There are sooo many trains for Bhopal from Hyderabad, so there was no problem for making reservations. I was focused as I was never. I knew this time I need to make it. I knew this was my golden chance. 

Unlike air force, for navy ssb, they asked to report till 1430HRS at MCO on Bhopal railway station. From where we were taken to selection center. There were about 250 candidates appearing for SSB interview. After reaching at selection center, we were first alloted our rooms, and they asked us to report to 33SSB campus after an hour. 

Selection center was one of the best centers in India. It has very impressive accommodation facilities. It looked like we were staying in some palace. 

After an hour we reported to 33SSB campus, where our documents were checked. We fill so many forms. There was one PIQ form, travelling allowance forms, and few more which I don't remember. We started filling forms by 1600HRS and finished by 2000HRS. We all were tired, we all were hungry. We all rushed to dinning hall. Food was fine, as I expected. 

We went to our rooms. Bed was very comfortable. Accommodation was very royal. In my room there were guys from Delhi and Uttar Pradesh. We had lot of fun, as we were cracking, lots n lots of jokes. 

Next morning I woke up at 0400HRS, and got ready by 0530HRS. For the first time in my whole life, I ate breakfast at 0530HRS. I was in formals. I was focusing on screening procedure. I knew I am best than others.

They asked to report at 33SSB campus at 0600HRS, and we all reported on time. at 0630HRS our screening test started. As like Air Force SSB interview, there was verbal and non verbal test first, but questions and time were more. In each paper 50 questions were there, and for first paper time alloted was 25 minutes, and for second paper time alloted was 30 minutes. I solved first paper very easily, but in 2nd paper, I faced little difficulty in solving it. 

After than we had picture perception and discussion test. A picture was shown on the screen, in which a boy was studying and a girl was standing on the door. I made a story of women literacy. After writing story, they divided us in a group of 18. 

My chest number was 1, and I was in the first group. When our group discussion started, I was the first one to narrate the story. I narrated it, but I was not fluent, and was nervous, as last time I was in my first SSB. I heard everyone's stories, and they were not crisp, as mine. I knew, I will be in. When the group discussion started, there was a huge chaos, for the first time I was competing in a repeaters group, I always heard that repeaters makes chaos in group discussion but for the first time I was experiencing that. Group discussion didn't last for long, it was just for two minutes, and I didn't get a single chance to speak in it. But in group discussion 6 candidates agreed to my story, so I was confident.

After group discussion, all my group members appreciated my story, and said it was very realistic. Which raise my confidence.

After lunch at 1300HRS our result was declared. Out of 250 only 48 were screened in for II phase of testing. From my group 4 were screened in. I was chest number one, and I was the first one to know that I was rejected from first phase of selections, which meant only one thing that I am not suitable for II phase of testing. It was slap on my face. I was disappointed, but didn't showed. I was angry on myself from inside. I knew, that i performed bad in verbal and non verbal reasoning, and thats the reason for my rejection. But now it was tooooooooooo late. I need to catch my train, which was in night. 202 candidates were rejected. 

I came back home, disappointed. My father was shocked. He never expected that I will get rejected from the first phase of the selections itself. 

May be I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN FIGHT!!!